This is an unusual time for most of us as our “normal” is temporarily on hold and we must adjust to what is currently happening around us. Is this difficult to do? Yes, it is difficult. It’s difficult to adjust to a new way of life, even if only temporarily, but we have a choice on how we handle this. We can do this in two ways; we can face what is happening with fear or with curiosity.
Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause us pain, or a threat. When we live in a state of fear, we are filled with unpleasant emotions such as anxiety, stress, resistance, hate, anger and endless worry.
Curiosity on the other hand is defined as a strong desire to know or learn something. When we are curios, we put our fears aside and learn and explore the world around us (safely in your own home that is).
So you have a choice. You can spend every day fearing all the what if’s and the unknowns (most of which you have no control over anyway) or you can chose to do the opposite and get curios. While fear stops us in our tracks, curiosity keeps us going. Curiosity allows us to learn, explore and get curios about ourselves and the world around us. So you have a choice right now. Do you want to spend the next few weeks stuck in your home filled with fear? Or you can put your fears aside and get curious instead!
Below are some ways to help you decrease your fears and increase your curiosity!
Calm Down Your Fears:
Minimize Social Media/News Intake:
Social media can be a life savor right now for many of us as this is the only social connection that we may have and that is wonderful, use it! However, social media also has its downside. Watching too much of anything negative will have an effect on us and the news today is filled with fearful topics. If you feel overwhelmed with negativity and fears around the virus, try cutting down on how much news you watch or how much time you spend on social media daily. Don’t worry you won’t miss out on what’s happening. Information is always available.
Focus On What You Can Control:
When so many things are out of our control (the virus, government decisions, job loss, people getting sick, etc…), it can be difficult to stay calm. We have to instead focus on the things that we can control, which includes ourselves and the environment around us. Make a list of what you can control in your own environment (your household, what you spend your money on, your furniture arrangement, the food you eat, the people you talk to, the clothes you wear, the show you will watch, your yard area, your hairstyle, what your day will look like today, etc…) and focus on these things instead!
Gratitude:
Especially during difficult times, it is so important to acknowledge and appreciate the goodness that is always around us. Make a daily written or mental note of 3-5 things that you are grateful for and see how this changes your mood! It can be anything… your kids, the sunshine, a neighbor waving, your pet, the dinner you ate, the conversation you had, etc… Appreciating that there is still good in our lives amongst the chaos can make a difference.
Talk to Someone:
There are many ways to connect with friends and family right now (Snapchat, Facebook Messenger, Skype, Houseparty app. and more)! Or you can do it the old fashioned way and call or write a letter to a family member or friend and talk about your concerns and your gratitude! If you need further support, please reach out to me or a mental health therapist of your choice. I, along with many therapists are using virtual services to provide therapy right now.
Watch your Thoughts:
You have a choice, do you want to continue thinking about all of your fears or would you rather think of something else right now? It’s okay to change your thinking to something more pleasant. It doesn’t mean that fearful things aren’t out there (they are), but we can chose how much time we spend thinking about them. If you are noticing yourself feeling more anxious, fearful or depressed, ask yourself what do you keep thinking about? Do you have to spend so much time thinking about this? If you are noticing that your focus is based on fear, change your thoughts. Change your focus.
Exercise:
We need to let all of this energy inside of us out and moving our bodies is a great way to do this. Go for a walk, lift weights, do sit-ups, run on a treadmill, follow an online yoga video, have a dance party, etc… You can do so much from your home! Start small and work your way up. Notice how you feel after.
Breathe:
We breathe all of the time, usually on auto-pilot (meaning it’s automatic and we don’t have to think about it). But when we pause and put our focus on our breath, wonderful things can happen. We can ease our mind and calm our body. Try it. Right now. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds and hold for 4 seconds. This is called box breathing. Try it and repeat as often as you need. If you are finding this type of breathing exercise difficult, just simply breathe in and out while focusing on your breath. Counting to 10 breaths may help with focus!
Increase Your Curiosity:
Start a Journal:
Take this time to get to know yourself. Get curios and tune in inwards. Write about your days, your feelings, your fears and your experiences. What are your hopes and your dreams? Write them down. Journaling is a great way to get rid of those thoughts and feelings that are stuck inside.
Make a List:
Make a list of your to do’s! What projects have you wanted to do, but didn’t have time for? What can you do around your home right now that’s been neglected? What do you want to get done during this time at home? Read a new book? Clean out your closet? Paint the bathroom? Organize the garage? If your answer is nothing, that’s fine too! Add extra naps and walks outside to your list instead!
Work on Yourself:
What have you wanted to do for yourself that you haven’t had time for? What do you need from yourself right now? More quiet time? To face your feelings? How do you feel about yourself? Are you happy? Do you love yourself? If you don’t know what you love about yourself, get curios! Why don’t you love yourself and what do you need from yourself to feel that love?
Learn about your Loved Ones:
Dedicate time to your children and/or your partner (or anyone else in your home) and get to know them. What would you like to know about them? What are their likes and dislikes? What are their hopes and dreams? What can you do today to spend time together? Look through old photo albums and teach your children about their family.
Start a New Hobby:
There are plenty of new hobbies you can learn right from your home! Learn a new language, learn to knit/sew, learn to meditate, learn new recipes to cook, learn how to scrap book, how to start a garden and more! What have you been putting off that you’ve been wanting to learn?
Remember to make your mental health a priority. You don’t have to go through difficult times on your own. You can find me at www.wholeisticyou.com or reach me by email at hello@wholeisticyou.com. I am now offering virtual services via teletherapy for Michigan residents!