It’s back to school time and for most of us, this means a lot of uncertainty. We don’t know if our children will return to a “normal” school, we don’t have answers to many questions, and we don’t know what will happen with COVID-19. This can be a very stressful time, but does stressing over things that are out of our control do us any good? The answer is No!
Below is a list of things that you can do to help you cope in uncertain times:
- Focus on What You Can Control: When we spend a lot of time watching the news/media, our worries and fears may increase because our focus will be on things that we cannot change or control. If you worry about things that you are unable to change or take control over, your anxiety may increase because you can’t do anything about it. Instead, focus on what you can control. These maybe things within your reach such as your home, your family, what you will eat for dinner, what you do over the weekend, how you will design your child’s home learning area, etc… Put your focus on what is within reach of you and change those things so that you are comfortable and at peace.
- Feel Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel scared, anxious, stressed or confused right now. Our emotions are a natural response to things happening around us. What is not okay is to let our emotions take over us. When we react to external stimuli, there is a 90 second chemical process that happens in our body, putting us in full alert. After 90 seconds, our body flushes those chemicals away. This means that when something happens around you, don’t react right away, instead, for 90 seconds, practice mindfulness by observing what is happening in your body. This 90 second rule is a term coined by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor in her book, My Stroke of Insight. (Gustavo Razzetti, “How to Cope With Uncertain Times.” Psychology Today)
- Practice Mindfulness: The acronym R.A.I.N. is something that I utilize with my clients and is taught by meditation and mindfulness teacher Tara Brach. This tool may be utilized when feeling intense and difficult feelings. R.A.I.N. stands for:
R- Recognize: Recognize what is happening in your mind and body. What are you thinking and feeling? How are you behaving? Notice what is happening inside of you.
A-Allow: Allow the experience and feelings to be there, just as it is, all of it. Accept your reality as it is.
I-Investigate: Investigate with interest and care. Pay close attention to your mind and body and what you are experiencing and feeling at that moment. Approach this in a non-judgmental way. Why is this happening?
N-Nurture: Nurture with self-compassion. What does the wounded place inside of you need at this moment? It may be kind words such as, “It’s ok, I got this” or “I’m here with you” or it may be a hug or you needing to walk away from the situation that you are in. Check in with yourself and have compassion for yourself. Give yourself what you need.
- Unplug: Too much of anything isn’t good, especially the media and news. If you’re watching a lot of media/news, notice how you feel when you are watching it and after. If you’re noticing that your worries and anxiety spiral after watching the news, take a break. Set a schedule for yourself on how often you will check in on the news (cut down from several times a day to maybe once a day or a couple of times a week). Don’t worry, you miss anything.
- Manage your Stress: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop what you’re doing and rest. Nothing will go smoothly if you fall apart. Are you sleeping enough? Are you exercising? How is your diet? Do you have an outlet or someone to talk to? Decrease negative coping strategies such as drinking, smoking or complaining and increase positive coping skills such as taking a walk, taking deep breaths, journaling and connecting with yourself. It’s important to take care of yourself first.
- Compassion for Self and Others: No one is perfect and most of us are doing the best that we can with what we have. This includes you, your kids, your neighbors, your kids teachers, etc… Understand that and hold extra space for people when they make mistakes. Hold your judgments and instead practice compassion.
- This Too Shall Pass: Remember that nothing lasts forever and that everything is only temporary. What is happening around us may seem like it will be here forever, but if we look back throughout history, we will see that everything comes and goes. This too shall pass.
Remember to make your mental health your priority! If you are seeking a mental health therapist, you can find me at: www.wholeisticyou.com, reach me by email at hello@wholeisticyou.com, or find me on Instagram and Facebook!